This morning I was out running errands with my girls and Costco was on our list. I always think of my Grandpa when we go to Costco. Remembering buying bulk candy with him and being super embarrassed at the number of trips he'd take to the same free sample lady.
So, the usual sequence of thoughts happened and I ended up crying in the car. Thinking about him not getting to meet Matea. Thinking about how much fun he would have listening to Bella's crazy imagination. In general, wallowing in my sorrow.
It may sound weird, but I kept thinking to myself, "I need to feel him with me today". More than a year after he died, I accidentally called his cell phone number instead of Grandma's. Imagine my shock when I heard his voice on the outgoing message. I called back two more times and listened to it before I realized that Grandma would see how many times I had called. I really wanted to call again this morning but I exercised self restraint.
We made it home and I went about my day but still in a bit of a funk. Just a few minutes ago, I was cleaning up the play area, walking back and forth, carrying toys to their appropriate place. I looked over and saw it...
He was with me today. This picture is from a "Who Loves Baby Book?" my mom gave Bella when she was born. I think I'm going to leave him there for a few days because he makes me smile.